Tomorrow afternoon (well...I guess at this point it's technically today) I move into my new dorm room, amidst forecasts for the worst storm of my life, at least in Pennsylvania. Everything about it seems completely unreal: my being a college sophomore as of Monday, the severity of the storm they're predicting (so bad, in fact, that my friend's entire block was evacuated today because of it's proximity to the river), and the fact that this time tomorrow night, I'll be hunkering down in my living room at school with some friends I haven't seen in months.
Exactly one year ago today, I was lying in bed unable to sleep because I was so excited about beginning college the next day. And I was so completely ready for it, like in the morning simply wasn't soon enough. I wanted to have been there for the past four years, because I was so ready to get started on the rest of my life. This year, it seems like it came just in time. I spent so much of my time working this summer, that even though it was the longest summer break of my life, it didn't seem quite so long. And I think I'm still in disbelief that it's already the end of August, and the beginning of another school year.
I had thought that packing would slap me in the face like reality with a hammer, but even as I'm sitting in a bare bed staring at the pile of things I have packed and ready to go, I still don't think it's quite registering. Or maybe it's just a different feeling now that I'm going back to something I already know so well, instead of leaving the familiar for something completely foreign.
What I'm not entirely sure about is whether I like the feeling I have now, or if I'd rather have back the feeling I had last year. So excited to be going into something I don't even slightly recognize. And maybe that's the reason why I know that I'll spend so much of my life moving around. For so many years, changing schools, moving, making new friends was perfectly normal for me, so that now change seems almost necessary. Like staying in one place for too long might be too painful to bear.